English blog

Distracted Parents

In “The Dangers of Distracted Parenting,” Erika Christakis argues that parents are becoming so obsessed with their phones which is distracting them from their children. It is easy to get distracted with a noise, or a buzz, however that diversion becomes a huge issue when it begins to interfere with the emotional and cognitive bond between a child and the parent. When parents get distracted while trying to watch a toddler, it can be a very dangerous game. Children are unpredictable and often like to run off, and if you are preoccupied with what is happening on your phone it is easy and much more likely for an accident to happen.

Phones and tablets distract people extremely easily with everyday things which include driving, walking, or even watching your child when you go out. When parents stop focusing on the child’s safety and are more worried about notifications on their phone, it then puts the children in harm’s way and many horrible accidents are open to happening if the child is not being watched. Many people give young children a hard time for playing with electronics at such a young age, but it is the parents that need to be talked to. The reason why children have a tablet or know how to use one is most likely because their parents allow them to use it.  Christakis stated that “more than screen-obsessed young children, we should be concerned about tuned-out parents.” In the beginning of 2010 researchers in Boston watched 55 families in a restaurant to see what the family interacted with more, electronics or the children. As it turns out, 40 out of the 55 parents were so tuned into their phone, that when the children begged for attention, the parents neglected everything they were saying. The more often parents get distracted with notifications or conversations happening on their phone, the more often accidents are going to happen.

Another point Christakis makes in her article is how when parents spend most of their time on a screen, the children are more likely to as well. Studies show that “the average age of onset of “regular” screen use has gone from four years to just four months.” Children should have a chance to be kids, and have an endless imagination instead of being occupied on a screen at as little as less than a year old. Children should be playing outside and exploring fun possibilities with their friends and also learning how to socialize with people face-to-face rather than screen-to-screen. The more parents that become “screen obsessed” the more negative impacts it has on children.

I agree with what the author is expressing and the numerous examples that the author has given causes me to see how big of a problem this is. Time spent on devices is time not spent socializing with other people. Parents have more time with their children today but the quality has decreased because they are physically there, however emotionally they are somewhat detached because their focus is on their phone. Distracted parents are slow to see what the child needs and can then make a negative impact on the children’s cognitive development. The importance of conversation is key so strong language skills for children and if their parents are barely talking to them or paying attention to them, that has a bad impact on the child’s social patterns and abilities.

I can relate to this issue as a gymnastics coach, I can see parents from the viewing window and instead of watching their child do gymnastics they are glued to their phones and they barely ever look up. Many times when a younger child notices their parent is not watching them they get very upset and it soils their mood for the rest of practice. In the article “Kids Feel Unimportant to Cell Phone-Addicted Parents” Ellen Stum Niz says how the kids said they had to compete with technology for their parents’ attention. I also agree with this statement from my own experience and it clearly has a negative impact on the children.

A June study by AVG Technologies “discovered that 32 percent of children felt unimportant when their moms and dads were distracted by their phones.” It is not enough for the parent to just glance up from their phone and give the child a simple acknowledgement. Children need more from their parents and they need more interaction and balance between the attention they get from their parents and the phone. They lack the emotional impact that these young children need as part of their development. The studies show that more than half of parents were concerned that their use of cell phones is setting a bad example for their children.

Not only do disconnected parents cause child developmental problems, this can also lead to relationship issues, loss of empathy, sleep disturbances, car fatalities, and sadly the list goes on. Adults spending time on devices is a larger problem than people think and it should be looked at much more seriously. The balance between children’s emotional needs and parents use of electronic devices is an issue that if not dealt with, will result in cognitive and emotional disturbances in children.

 

Sources:

Christakis, Erika. “The Dangers of Distracted Parenting.” The Atlantic, Atlantic Media Company, 16 June 2018, www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2018/07/the-dangers-of-distracted-parenting/561752/

 

“Kids Feel Unimportant to Cell Phone-Addicted Parents.” Parenting, 15 July 2015, www.parenting.com/news-break/kids-feel-unimportant-to-cell-phone-addicted-parents

 

Ethnography Essay

I have the opportunity to live with my ninety year old nana, Betty, who I love very much. About ten years ago when I lived in Plymouth she lived right across the street from me, my brother, and my mom. She was very independent when she lived alone, even after her husband passed away which was about fifteen years ago. Because of some of her declining health issues, she can no longer live alone, she she now gets to live with us. In all of my nana’s ninety years she has experienced a lot of changes and this one may be her most challenging one yet because she is losing her independence.

Betty is about five feet six inches and she is is on the heavy-set side. She gets around the house with her walker, however she is very stubborn about using it so sometimes she will try to sneak around with her cane, or without anything. She always wears several bracelets and she is never without her watch. Since she had to move out of her own house four years ago, she does not have a lot of her own things anymore. Therefore, the few things that she values mainly consist of photographs, blankets that she made, and jewelry.

In my nana’s room she surrounds herself with old photographs because it flushes back many memories for her and it helps my home feel like her home as well. She misses her husband a lot so looking at the pictures brings back joyful, happy memories and I can tell that even though it is sad, she has so much love and care for them. She is huge on knitting and crocheting blankets. Before her arthritis worsened, she used to make people blankets all day everyday. She would make some for the ladies at nursing homes, and even her friends she met at therapy more recently. She has given me so many blankets as gifts and I love receiving them because it makes her so happy to give them away and watch people use them. Another thing she is very careful for is all of her jewelry, especially one ring that her  deceased husband gave her. She never takes the ring off no matter what, and she also has many other rings and bracelets that she wears for show.

My Nana has many special places in the house, but her favorite one is in the sitting room. She has her favorite chair that she always sits on where she crochetes and reads. On her kindle she always plays solitaire, she is obsessed with that game. When she is not in her chair my cat, Izzy, will jump in it as soon as she gets the chance, it is always a competition between them of who will get to it first. In the kitchen, she has her special corner on the counter where she keeps all of her snacks and desserts, especially her bran muffins which she “needs” to have everyday.

Her bedroom is upstairs and she uses a double railing to help her up the stairwell where her second walker awaits her. Her bedroom has a bar on the bed to assist her with standing and sitting down easily and there are many old pictures that surrounds her with memories.

Although it has been difficult to give up her own home and move in with us, there are some positive situations that have occured for her, one being her social connections. Betty goes he the Council on Aging once a week to play bingo, she attends church suppers the first Friday of every month, and she gets out to the grocery store with her daughter. Betty does not have any friends because they have all passed away. However, she does have a sister, Margaret, who is ninety-nine years old and they talk everyday on the phone.

Technology has had an influence on her, even at her age. She uses a kindle to email which she happens to call texting. She also has a facebook page but not to post anything, just so she can see pictures of the family. However, sometimes she gets confused and hits the wrong buttons and will repost an odd picture or send them to her relatives. Her use of technology is part of her daily schedule along with crocheting, watching tv, (usually Judge Judy or The Price is Right), and a daily nap is an essential part of her day.

Life for my Nana has changed dramatically a lot and she feels as though she has lost her independence. She gets frustrated because she needs to be taken care of, but she also feels blessed to have a home to live in with family because she gets to see her grandchildren and there are many activities in this house with people coming in and out all the time. She has no past regrets, she feels she has had a good life and her future dream is to reach one-hundred years old.

 

In “My Daughter’s Homework is Killing Me,” Karl Taro Greenfeld goes into detail how is daughter Esmee is drowning in homework and she is only in eighth grade. Greenfeld attempted to do Esmee’s homework for a week after continuously finding her up after her her bedtime hours trying to complete all of her homework. She does about 3-5 hours of homework everyday and gets about 6 ½ hours of sleep each night just to wake up the next day and do the same thing all over again. “She wakes up teary eyed and exhausted” each morning and it kills Greenfeld to see his daughter like this.

One thing that surprised me was how much homework Esmee was actually assigned each night. She had to read about 79 pages for english while annotating on the side, she had algebra homework every night, and she had multiple tests to study for, and that is only for three subjects. When Greenfeld attempted to do his daughter’s homework, he often fell asleep while trying to complete her work that was expected to be finished for the next day. School is like a job for children, they go all day long, come home to complete 3-5 hours of homework, go to bed and repeat the same stressful cycle for the next five days.

One interesting fact that Greenfeld used in his article is how “it turns out that there is no correlation between homework and achievement. According to a 2005 study by the Penn State professors Gerald K. LeTendre and David P. Baker, some of the countries that score higher than the U.S. on testing in the Trends in International Mathematics and Science Study—Japan and Denmark, for example—give less homework, while some of those scoring lower, including Thailand and Greece, assign more.” I like how he used that information because that is very strong evidence that supports his claim that there is too much homework being given. Instead of piling homework for hours every night, teachers should cut down the workload and then see how students do instead of drowning them in unnecessary homework everyday. Also, I liked how he tried to do all of her homework and was honest about how much it was and admitted that it was very hard and strenuous to complete. I enjoyed this article a lot because it was different and very interesting to read.

 

In the article “How long Can You Wait to Have a Baby?” by Jean M. Twenge, she goes into detail how people seem to misunderstand when it is “too late” to have a baby, because local ads and newspapers are sharing false and out-of-date information. Some people seem to believe that as women grow older, they have a slight chance of getting pregnant. Therefore, women get freaked out and have what some people call, “baby-panic”. Newspapers and magazines have and are still filling people’s brains with the idea that if you do not have a child when you are young, it is too late to have a child at all. They say that female fertility declines at age 27, however that is not true. In fact, Twenge goes into detail how “the typical woman is able to get pregnant until somewhere around 40 and 45 years old.” Also, it is proven in recent statistics that the fertility of women in their 20’s and 30’s are almost identical and the risk of not being able to get pregnant barely changes.

I thought it was very interesting how many magazines use old statistics and and out-of-date data about female fertility rates and risks for the modern day women. “Millions of women are being told when to get pregnant based on statistics from a time before electricity, antibiotics, or fertility treatment.” This false information that is being shared creates an unnecessary panic throughout females and it is not fair to anyone that the information is not true or up to date.

I found this article to be very interesting because while Twenge went into detail about how magazines are sharing false information, she was also sharing a story of hers. She used extremely vivid detail and I felt as if I could put myself in her shoes because I knew how she felt from how she described things. This was a great, intelligent article to read and I learned a lot of facts from it.

 

Distracted Parents

 

In “The Dangers of Distracted Parenting,” Erika Christakis argues that parents are becoming so obsessed with their phones which is distracting them from their children. When parents get distracted while trying to watch a toddler, it can be a very dangerous game. Children are unpredictable and often like to run off, and if you are preoccupied with what is happening on your phone it is easy and much more likely for an accident to happen.

Phones and tablets distract people extremely easily with everyday things which include driving, walking, or even watching your child when you go out. When parents stop focusing on the child’s safety and are more worried about notifications on their phone, it is then puts the children in harm’s way and many horrible accidents are open to happening if the child is not being watched. Many people give young children a hard time for playing with electronics at such a young age, but it is the parents that need to be talked to. The reason why children have a tablet or know how to use one is most likely because their parents allow them to use it.  Christakis stated that “more than screen-obsessed young children, we should be concerned about tuned-out parents.” In the beginning of 2010 researchers in Boston watched 55 families in a restaurant to see what the family interacted with more, electronics or the children. As it turns out, 40 out of the 55 parents were so tuned into their phone, that when the children begged for attention, the parents neglected everything they were saying. The more often parents get distracted with notifications or conversations happening on their phone, the more often accidents are going to happen.

Another point Christakis makes in her article is how when parents spend most of their time on a screen, the children are more likely to as well. Studies show that “the average age of onset of “regular” screen use has gone from four years to just four months.” Children should have a chance to be kids, and have an endless imagination instead of being occupied on a screen at as little as less than a year old. Children should be playing outside and exploring fun possibilities with their friends and also learning how to socialize with people face-to-face rather than screen-to-screen. The more parents that become “screen obsessed” the more negative impacts it has on children.

I agree with what the author is expressing and the numerous examples that the author has given causes me to see how big of a problem this is. Time spent on devices is time not spent socializing with other people. Parents have more time with their children today but the quality has decreased because they are physically there, however emotionally they are somewhat detached because their focus is on their phone. Distracted parents are slow to see what the child needs and can then make a negative impact on the children’s cognitive development. The importance of conversation is key so strong language skills for children and if their parents are barely talking to them or paying attention to them, that has a bad impact on the child’s social patterns and abilities.

I can relate to this issue as a gymnastics coach, I can see parents from the viewing window and instead of watching their child do gymnastics they are glued to their phones and they barely ever look up. Many times when a younger child notices their parent is not watching them they get very upset and it soils their mood for the rest of practice. In the article “Kids Feel Unimportant to Cell Phone-Addicted Parents” Ellen Stum Niz says how the kids said they had to compete with technology for their parents’ attention. I also agree with this statement from my own experience and it clearly has a negative impact on the children.

Not only do disconnected parents cause child developmental problems, this can also lead to relationship issues, loss of empathy, sleep disturbances, car fatalities, and sadly the list goes on. Adults spending time on devices is a larger problem than people think and it should be looked at much more seriously.

 

In my peer review Jocelyn mentioned to add a few more details in specific paragraphs and supported her reasoning for it. When I fixed my rough draft with the corrections she gave me my paper looked much better and I am happy with the way it looked. Also, when my professor corrected my paper I got a lot of use out of her ideas for me to enhance my writing which made my paper flow much better. She told me to write more about my stepsister since the essay was mainly about her and when I took that correction my paper looked a thousand times better. I added many details about her and I included flashbacks to make the “story” come alive and have an emotional bond. She also told me to have less detail with the furniture and the rooms in my house and I am very happy she mentioned that because when I looked back I realized I was focusing too much on off-topic things. Also, in “The makers eye” the author talks about connecting to the audience and have an emotion bond which also has me expand my ideas for my essay and try to get emotion from readers. Overall, I am very happy with the way my paper came out and all the corrections from my professor and Jocelyn were very helpful.

Family

The clock ticks so slow… my excitement builds. Not only because it is the last day of school, but today is moving day! Finally the bell rings and I sprint down the hallway and out of the doors and I find a seat on the bus next to my best friend Ross. As the bus pulls into my neighborhood I sit up quickly. I can not control my happiness! As the bus creeps toward my house I can see my mom and brother, Zach, waiting in the driveway for me. The bus door lashes open and I quickly yell bye to Ross and I run down the bus stairs and up the driveway. My mom quickly opens the car door and tells me to hop in. It was finally time! As I jump inside the car I pause and ask my mom if I can take one last look around the house. “Okay, but you need to hurry we need to be on our way soon”, said my mom.
As I walk inside the empty house one last time I can hear my echo, everything is so still. I turn towards the dining room and all of a sudden I have a flashback to when my dad was still here with us. My mind trails back to about a year ago when my dad and I just got home from pumpkin picking. He had all the tools setup along the dining room table ready to carve our pumpkins together, I will always miss that. I turn around and stare at the door when another memory flashes into my mind. It was the last day my father was in the house. He was walking out the doorway and my mother was crying so hard. As I managed to snap out of it I wiped a tear that was making its way down my cheek. The house was different now and I was ready to start newer and happier memories at my new house. Without looking back I slowly shut the door and run to the car. I have had multiple houses growing up and I have never had one that felt like home since my father left. However, this time it was different because my biggest dream as a child was about to come true and I could not believe it… A house I can finally call home and a sister!
We pull into the quiet Mattapoisett neighborhood and there it is, my new home. I am a little unsure about the situation, I even have some butterflies in my stomach. It seems cozy with the off-white farmers porch in the front, and the two little rocking chairs are a nice touch. The house is a bright yellow color and my two new siblings are jumping up and down in the doorway squabbling about who would get to show me and my older brother Zach around the house first. I see Alex pushing her long blonde wavy hair out of her face. She is only five months younger than me but I am about two inches taller than her. The minute I step out of the car I was overwhelmed with excitement. As I step up onto the porch my step sister, Alex, gives me a huge hug and takes me by the hand and pulls me inside. As Alex and jacob bring me and Zach upstairs, all I can think of is how when I was younger I always wanted to have a little sister and now I finally do!
As we make our way upstairs Alex tells me to close my eyes and grab her hand. As she pulls me into our room I open my eyes and it is a little girl’s dream room with pink and purple walls. I am so happy it is ours! Our chestnut closet has a side for her stuff and a side for my stuff. Her side is filled with a bag of barbie dolls. I am overjoyed with happiness and have not stopped smiling. As Alex takes out her dolls we both imagine a town that the dolls are living in. As I look up I see how big Alex’s smile is. This felt like the first bonding moment and I smile! My comforter is a light purple color and it has pink flowers and hearts in a pattern on it and my pillows match. Alex’s comforter is pink with purple swirls all over it and her pillows are white with little blue squares on them. Her nightstand has a picture of her and her friend Alexis on it and her favorite stuffed animal named Aku. Alex continues to giggle as we play with the barbies and the day flies by. My mom enters our room and tells us we have to go to bed. Me and Alex quickly hop into bed, shut the light and pretend to sleep. As soon as my mom shut her bedroom door I flick on my flashlight and point it at Alex. ”you up?”, I asked her. As soon as she sees my flashlight and hears me talk to her she leaps off her bed without hesitation and hops into mine. I flip the covers over our heads and we use the flashlight as a light so we can see. I let her borrow one of my stuffed animals to play with and we begin to plan out tomorrow’s adventure. The fact that I have a new built in best friend is indescribable. Even though I have lived in many houses, there is only one that I have had a chance to call home, and I could never ask for anything better. Life is full of disappointments and trials. Where sadness and loss once lived, a glimmer of hope shines. Two broken families become one and a new chapter of life begins. Where there was once brokenness there is now a sense of completeness. With an added bonus, a sister for life.

In “How to Save a Marriage in America”, Richard V. Reeves goes into detail about how many successful marriages are accomplished when both of the parents are looking out for the best in their children. When the parents become a “team” and come together as a family, it is very healthy for the kid(s) and the marriage shows positive, long-lasting results. In fact, studies show that the marriages that happen to be most successful are the ones with three important qualities; traditional, romantic, and parental.

When parents are invested in building their relationship to be healthy and happy, it not only makes the adults happy, it makes the child happy as well. Studies and graphs show that happy marriages lead to happy kids. When parents have been able to make their relationship better each day, their marriage lasts longer.

Richard V. Reeves put the article together very well and the way everything was formatted made sense. I really enjoyed how he separated each part because to made it a lot easier to read and I did not space out because of the little breakers he used. I would definitely recommend this article to classmates or anyone having trouble with their relationship.

 

Passing On Anxiety

Author: Erin Morrison-Fortunato

• The main point of this article was to help readers understand where exactly the author was coming from and what she was feeling. The very beginning grabbed the readers interest because it was suspenseful and detailed which made the story interesting. As she continued her writing, the reader learned about her anxiety and how she had to deal with it throughout her life and how nervous she was that her anxiety would be passed down to her children.
• I thought it was very interesting how much her father had an impact on her anxiety, especially at such a young age. I also thought it was interesting how her mother was a comfort zone because that was exactly what it was like for me as a child. My mother was my safe area and if I was around her I automatically felt a million times better.
• One thing I noticed about the authors style was how in the very beginning of her story she did not tell exactly what was happening until the second paragraph. It instantly got me hooked on what I was reading and I felt like I needed to know what was happening/going to happen. I also liked how she gave a background of what caused her anxiety and then linked it to her main issue/worry about if her kids would get it because it helped the reader have an “inside scoop” of how she felt and why.
• If you can relate to family issues or anxiety I would definitely read this article because it is very interesting. As of for me, I was very into it because I could relate to some of the things the author was saying which was sorta cool because I understood completely how she felt at times.

“Come over here! We will give you a tour. Oh my gosh im SO EXCITED!” I will never forget how great it was to hear that come out of my brand new brother and sister’s mouth. I have had multiple houses growing up because my parents are split and I have never had one that felt like home… but this time it was different. My biggest dream as a child was about to come true and i could not believe it… I finally got to have a sister!

When we pulled into the quiet mattapoisett house that was somehow all of a sudden my house, I was a little unsure about the situation. It seemed cozy with the off-white porch in the front; in fact the two little rocking chairs were a nice touch. The house was a bright yellow color and my two new siblings were falling out of the doorway fighting about who would get to show me and my older brother Zach around the house first. The minute I stepped out of the car I was overwhelmed with excitement. TWO new siblings! How often can someone say that? As I stepped up onto the off-white porch steps and into the house my step sister, Alex, gave me a huge hug and dragged me inside. I quickly took my shoes off and we both ran into the kitchen. It was beautiful! The kitchen had white tile floors with little square patterns that were black. All around the walls of the kitchen were cabinets that were chestnut and they were built into the wall and a black fridge that was covered in magnets from ski trips. Off to the side of the kitchen was a cute dining room table that was covered in all of Alex’s Soccer gear. I did not know what to think or where to tour next. The living room was connected to the kitchen and it was very cute. There was a tan couch that covered one wall and it was across from the TV. Alex and Jacob had Spongebob playing on it and there was a small juice stain on the white rug. On the closet door there was a basketball hoop hanging from it with two mini basketballs on the floor waiting to be played with. As Alex and jacob brought me and Zach upstairs, all I could think of was how awesome it was that I was given the privilege of having a sister. When I was younger I always wanted to have a sister and now I finally do!

As we all made our way up the last couple steps upstairs Alex pulled me into our room and I was in shock. It was a little girl’s dream room. As I looked around our room I noticed the pink and purple walls. I was so happy it was ours! When I turned to my right I discovered our chestnut closet that had a side for her stuff and a side for my stuff. Her side was filled with American Girl Doll clothes, Bratz dolls, and a bag filled with barbie dolls. I was so ecstatic! I was filled with happiness and did not stop smiling the rest of the day. We had so much in common and we got along right away it really was a dream come true. Our rug was green and it was covered with all of her toys she had ready to play with. My bed was on the left side of the room and hers was on the right. We both had nightstand to the sides of our beds and it looked amazing. My comforter was a light purple color and it had pink flowers and hearts in a pattern on it and my pillows matched. Alex’s comforter was pink with purple swirls all over it and her pillows were white with little blue squares on them. Her nightstand had a picture of her and her friend Alexis on it and her favorite stuffed animal named Aku. She loved nothing more than that stuffed animal dog. I could not think of a moment in my life that I have ever been happier. Even though I was only seven and it was a little hectic moving, the fact that I had a new built in best friend was indescribable. Alex is still my best friend to this day and I am so happy to be able to call her my sister.