In my peer review Jocelyn mentioned to add a few more details in specific paragraphs and supported her reasoning for it. When I fixed my rough draft with the corrections she gave me my paper looked much better and I am happy with the way it looked. Also, when my professor corrected my paper I got a lot of use out of her ideas for me to enhance my writing which made my paper flow much better. She told me to write more about my stepsister since the essay was mainly about her and when I took that correction my paper looked a thousand times better. I added many details about her and I included flashbacks to make the “story” come alive and have an emotional bond. She also told me to have less detail with the furniture and the rooms in my house and I am very happy she mentioned that because when I looked back I realized I was focusing too much on off-topic things. Also, in “The makers eye” the author talks about connecting to the audience and have an emotion bond which also has me expand my ideas for my essay and try to get emotion from readers. Overall, I am very happy with the way my paper came out and all the corrections from my professor and Jocelyn were very helpful.